Memoir

Blessed Visitor

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Dear Visitor, 

I know you’re coming very soon – my heart is preparing for you to arrive. Your delightful fragrance has surrounded the atmosphere. I’m eagerly cleaning my home, anxious, though excited for your arrival. Will you be staying long, or just for a few weeks?

Recently, I’ve been thinking about your arrival quite often. I have so much to tell you. Please come in for a while. Allow me to see you. Come in with your light and enlighten the darkness around me…

My eyes are on the verge of tears. Within me all my fears. Most of all, I fear that I may not be able to see you in time. But I know I need to try my best and keep going until you’re here to fix my mistakes and answer my longing. For now, I can at least set my goals of what I want us to accomplish together.

Thank you for uplifting me during the times when my head was down, my shoulders unable to carry another burden, and surely I thought it was over. That perhaps I couldn’t reach the heights of my expectations. Thank you blessed Visitor for giving me the opportunity to be with you countless of times. And for allowing me to learn from you each time. I regret that I haven’t always appreciated and taken advantage of my time with you to the fullest. Now, I realize what great honor it is to have you as my guest – the best guest of the year. My memories with you will forever be dear to my heart. 

Whenever you come, I feel revived and a new joy sparks within my heart. I become filled with warmth and calmness. I feel the barakah of your presence in all that’s around me and all that I do. You encourage me to stay away from that which harms my soul and to engage in the nurturing of it. You remind me that my time has come for a renewal.

Right now, I am not in the most perfect state. Please let me see you so that I can reform myself. Allow me to attain the blessings of your days and nights during your stay. Be my key to success.

My struggles have weighed me down. I am like the broken soil that needs yielding and like the seed that is planted and must sprout – but needs water and sunlight to grow. Will you accompany me in my journey of wanting so badly to grow?

I will not deny I became distracted here, finding myself trying to keep afloat above the crashing waters – navigating the path to my desired destination. I admit – I have not always used my time here most wisely. Though, when you’re with me, you aspire my heart toward sincerity, excellence, and goodness. You inspire me to better myself. You lead me to a path in which I wander not blindly, but rather with consciousness in every step I take. I try with all my might – to plant my feet firmly rooted, to be spiritually aware, and awaken from a routine of mindless slumber. I begin to once again tread carefully upon the only path towards salvation.

Oh, how I only wished I was like this all year round, striving. Words cannot explain how being with you changes my heart and state of mind. Everything is more clear and I am more focused. As if there is a storm in your absence but as you enter, the darkness fades and the skies shine the brightest. You tell me: reset, refocus, restart.

My tears flow. My heart is soft. When I am down, you pick me up at my lowest moments – always at the right time. I can speak my heart out the very moment I lower my head to the ground in the highest level of submission. During the meetings with my Lord, with you beside me, the sweetness within my heart is rekindled.

I also want to thank you for bringing with you a gift like no other. A special, perfect book that enlightens and purifies my heart. I hold onto it more closely – looking into it so deeply. I am left in wonder every time I discover one miracle after another. Like the flame of a candle, it is a light that extinguishes the darkness and lights the way to guidance. A guide to show me through. A noble companion that holds divine wisdom and lessons. I am grateful for such a timeless, invaluable gift that you’ve brought with you. I don’t want to ever let it go.

You always give me such hope that I am going the right way. That I must never stray. You know I will fall mistakenly, succumbing to my nafs – following my desires sometimes hurriedly. But when I turn around and see you there, you give me a smile and a pat on the shoulder, telling me it will all be okay since you’re here. Then, I put my hands up in desperation, only to call upon my Lord who knows most of all how much I am in need of dire reparation. 

My favorite time of all to spend with you is during the nights. This time is precious to me. Especially one night that I seek to catch when your visit nears its end – a night so powerful. I am in my most vulnerable state, trying to use every moment I have to call upon my Rabb before another part of you has slipped away. To cry, ask, and beg for His closeness and forgiveness from the sins I’ve dragged behind me for years. My sins are so many and my heart is so heavy. 

Help me to get where I want to be. Where I need to be. Where my Lord is guiding me. Train me while you’re with me to be spiritually, physically, and mentally focused even after you leave. To live as a devoted servant of my Rabb with mindfulness – in the pursuit of building my taqwa – the purpose of your visit.

Like a flower that blooms after a cold and gloomy winter, I am ready and waiting to refresh my soul, mind, and body for the enrichment of my own self. 

I truly desire, with all my heart, that my Rabb prepares me well for your visit, allowing it to be the one that transforms me completely until my meeting with Him, for it to be the most beautiful day of my life. To be called upon by my Rabb to live in eternal happiness in the most beautiful of places: “O contented soul, come back to your Lord, well-pleased, well-pleasing. So, enter among My (special) servants, and enter Paradise”  [89:27-30]

Enter it in peace. This is the Day of eternal life!” [50:34]

Ramadan, I am anxiously awaiting your arrival. My arms and doors are open, yearning to embrace you, oh my beautiful, blessed companion. 

Longing for your arrival,

Your friend in need.

O believers! Fasting is prescribed for you—as it was for those before you—so perhaps you will become mindful ˹of Allah˺ [2:183]

  اَللّهُمَّ بَلِّغْنَا رَمَضَان – ‘Oh Allah let us reach the month of Ramadan.’

Wedad Ghanim currently lives in Dallas, Texas. She developed a passion for spoken word and poetry when she began college and became familiar with it - after finding herself always seeking a poem to read. She enjoys expressing her thoughts and feelings, giving beautiful reminders of Allah and Islam, and sharing words of comfort through poetry. She is currently pursuing a BA in Education (Early Childhood- Grade 6). Other interests of hers include spending time with family and friends, painting, and reading books that allow her to reflect on her spiritual state on a deeper level.

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