‘Abdullah Ibn ‘Abbas said that the Prophet Muhammad said:
“Whoever sticks to my Sunnah (my way, my path, my practice, my teachings) when my Ummah becomes corrupt, will receive the reward of 100 martyrs.”
What is the corruption mentioned in this Ayah? It is explained by the previous statement, “Whoever sticks to my Sunnah” — implying that the rest of the Ummah will have abandoned the Sunnah of their Messenger, hence, have fallen into corruption and misguidance. So yes, no doubt, all types of corruption, in all areas. Definitely! But particularly, abandoning the Sunnah (practice, way, teachings, guidance) of the Prophet Muhammad, and instead following other paths and other figures.
So, “the keeper of my Sunnah at that time” – the one who sticks to, holds firmly to, adheres strictly to, abides by, the Prophetic Sunnah – will have tremendous rewards with Allah. The reward of 100 martyrs.
Why? Because, we have to realize here the difficulty of the situation of such a person. He is going against the flow. It’s like all the traffic is coming in one direction and you try to go against the current! Impossible.
Many Muslims will be telling him, “No, what are you doing? You extremist. We’re in the 21st century. That doesn’t apply for now. That was for the old days – back in Arabia 1400 years ago. We’re in the modern world now. Those practices were for back then! Stop being an extremist!” And of course, the non-Muslims will also have their own onslaught of attacks, “You weirdos. You terrorists. You backwards people. You this and you that.”] And as the Prophet himself stated in an authentic Hadith, that the one who will be patiently holding on to his/her religion at this time, will be like “someone who is holding onto ember (a burning piece of coal).”
The pressure to stop following the Sunnah of the Prophet to stop practicing Islam as he brought it will be very very great. Tremendous! And hence, the reward will also be very very great and tremendous for those who, despite all the pressure, stick to his Sunnah.
So that is the question that I ask you now: Are you gonna stick to the Prophet’s Sunnah despite the pressure to compromise a little, despite the onslaught of attacks? Are you gonna dare to be different? Or are you gonna buckle under the pressure and give in? If you dare to be different, then I give you the glad tidings that the Prophet Muhammad gave to such people, who would come after his death & would not have seen him, nor seen any miracles, and would only find the Book of Allah in front of them and they would read & study it and believe it, and then adhere to the Prophet’s Sunnah despite the pressure and despite the fact that they would be looked at as “strangers” and “weirdos”. The Prophet said about such people, that they are his ‘brothers’ & he cannot wait to meet them! They will believe in him and firmly adhere to his Sunnah though they never saw him
(It’s origin is in Saheeh Muslim, and then there are other wordings elsewhere. Shaykh Al-Albaani has authenticated this hadeeth in Saheeh Ibn Maajah, Saheeh An-Nasaa’ee, As-Silsilah As-Saheehah, etc).
And he gave such “strangers” tremendous glad tidings and good news, and something to uplift their spirits in the times of darkness, depression and gloominess.
On one occasion – ‘Abdullaah Ibn ‘Amr Ibn Al-‘Aas narrates – when the Companions were all sitting with the Prophet, he said: “Toobaa (Paradise; a special tree in Paradise) is for the strangers (those who are looked at by the people as strange and weird)! Toobaa is for the strangers! Toobaa is for the strangers!” And he said it thrice.
So they asked him, “Who are these ghurabaa’ (strange people) that you’re referring to, Messenger of Allah?” And he replied:
“Righteous people who are few in number, and who are amongst evil and misguided people who are so abundant and overflowing in number. Those who are against them (these righteous people) will be more than those who follow them and support them.” (Authenticated in Musnad Ahmad by Shaykh Ahmad Shaakir, and in Saheeh Al-Jaami` & Saheeh At-Targheeb by Al-Albaani.)
And our Prophet also described them on another occasion saying,
“Certainly, Islam began as something strange (in the eyes of people). And (one day) it will return to being strange just as it began. So Toobaa is for the ‘strangers’!” So he was asked, “Messenger of Allah, who are these ‘strangers’?” He replied: “They are those who will rectify the corruption and deviation of the people after me, with regard to my Sunnah.”
So hang in there, don’t you ever buckle under the pressure! Dare to be different! Be proud of your way of life, and don’t be afraid or shy of the creation, for surely Allah, their Creator as well as yours, is more deserving of you fearing Him and feeling shy before Him.
- I am a Muslim, and I do not walk alone. I fear no one, but the One above the Throne.
Notes
1. Though some Hadeeth scholars have said that the Hadith which the article is about is very weak, such as Shaykh al-Albaani, the Hadeeth was graded Hasan by Ibn Hajar Al-`Asqalaani in Hidaayah Ar-Ruwaah, and Al-Mundhiree said about it in At-Targheeb wat-Tarheeb, “Its isnaad is saheeh or hasan or something close to them.”
2. The following hadeeth was authenticated by Shaykh Al-Albaani (he graded it “hasan” in Sahih Al-Jaami`) from ‘Abdullah Ibn Mas’ood, that the Prophet said:
اَلْمُتَمَسِّكُ بِسُنَّتِي عِنْدَ اخْتِلاَفِ أُمَّتِي, كَالْقَابِضِ عَلَى الْجَمْر
“The person who sticks tightly to my Sunnah, at the time when the rest of my Ummah will be in a state of discord & disunity — will be like one who is holding on with his bare hands to ember.”
27 Comments
Assalamu Alaikum, br. I liked the article.
One question, though. I go to an Islamic school, and all my classmates are girls. But despite that it is an Islamic school, there is alot of fasaad, like not wearing hijab and talking to guys from our school. Whenever I hear them talking about the guys or listening to music or anything bad like that, I try to leave the place, but when I interact with them on a daily basis, I am normal: I joke, lend stuff..all the normal things. I love them as my classmates and b/c we have been together for years, and I don’t want to mistreat them b/c that obstructs our “unity”, if u will. I have 2 close friends that aren’t bad, though, and whom I can confide in and seek advice from, and I stick to them more than anyone else.
Is my course of conduct agreeable? If not, what should I do?
I totally understand your situation (been there, for real). And I also, would try to ignore the “laghw” and try my best not to get involved in it… but at the same time (just like your case), I would interact and laugh and behave normally with them ;) And I also loved them all too.
However – something I really regret now (looking back in retrospect), is the fact that I never … really practiced ERFW (enjoining right and forbidding wrong). I don’t know what it was… but I distinctively remember certain occasions where I really should’ve spoken out & told them that what they’re doing is unIslamic, etc. But once again… I didn’t, I thought it was not my business, just ignore.
And subhanallah, just like you, I also had a few good friends who were …in a way – if you will ‘better’ than some of the others, but all of them were really good on the inside :) :) But ANYWAY… there’s nothing wrong with your way of conduct.
But I’m just saying, what I personally feel now looking back in retrospect… something that I really regret is the fact that I never once even told them to stop … when they were doing something that was just clear-cut… And I never even said a word. * It’s not our job to change or force anyone, just to speak and tell the people (if you have the knowledge).
So there’s nothing wrong with your approach… but of course, occasionally, maybe – as a good friend-to-friend advice – you can (on the side) tell them (individually) about some of the wrongs they’re doing, and they need to fear Allah & be conscious of His watch over them & stay away from what displeases Him … and also, just because everybody else is doing this stuff in society – doesn’t mean we have to just go with the flow. We should dare to be different! Be proud of our Islam, and practice it!!!
And also … it doesn’t have to always be in a “pull them to the side” approach. * I mean, this is a MUSLIM SCHOOL. So we definitely have the right and obligation to … advise them on the spot. Especially if you can do it without attacking them personally. Maybe just tell them, “Look, the Prophet said that this is not permissible [and you tell them the hadeeth].” Or, we shouldn’t be talking like this because this is displeasing to Allah, and so on. * So the point is, it doesn’t always have to be after school or on the side, especially since this is an Islamic School where we’re supposed to be learning this stuff anyway. So you can even in some cases, if you have the guts to do it, go ahead & tell them as they are doing the sin.
And Allah knows best.
Bis-millah
Peace of Allah and His blessings be upon His messenger Muhammad.
Al-hamdu-lillah.
AS-Salaam aliakum
Just keep doing what you are doing, insha-Allah.
Bis-millah
Peace of Allah and His blessings be upon His messenger Muhammad.
Al-hamdu-lillah.
AS-Salaam aliakum
Just keep doing what you are doing, insha-Allah.
I would add to this, what Allah said in the Qur’aan (43:67), الأخلآء يومئذ بعضهم لبعضٍ عدو إلا المتقيـــن “All friends (closest of friends) will become enemies to one another on that Day, except for the Muttaqeen [those who friendship was based on fear of Allah, love of Allah, consciousness of Allah].”
So all the friends – as Allah quoted Prophet Abraham in another place – مودة بينكم في الحيوة الدنيا, ثم يوم القيامة يكفر بعضكم ببعض ويلعن بعضكم بعضا Their love that the had for one another in this world will vanish & they will begin to reject one another and curse on another.
This is referring to, friendships that were based on something other than Allah. The friends never talked about Allah, being conscious of Him, doing what pleases Him, staying away from what displeases Him.
+ So keep this in mind… as well as the fact that, if we’re not gonna start doing this duty of ERFW in an “Islamic School”, where else and when else are we gonna start doing it? In a public school, in the society? No Way!! * We have to start from here and train ourselves.
Leave you with Luqman’s advise to his kid (quoted in 31:17), وأمر بالمعروف وانه عن المنكر, واصبر على ما أصابك “Tell people to do the good things (what pleases Allah), and tell them to stay away from the bad things (which are displeasing to Allah), and then BE VERY PATIENT over what befalls you.”
Ibn Katheer said: “Luqman knew that whoever enjoins what is good and forbids what is wrong, will inevitably encounter harm and annoyance from people, so he told his son to be patient.” * And that would be my advice to you.
Wow. mA. This is amazing. JazakAllahukhair.
AA
like, i know a time comes for everything, but why is it that youth must wait to grow up in order to get married? how can they let off some air now? it’s so hard, man.
Well when you say (or people today say) … “must wait” … I don’t think Islaam says we ‘must wait’, rather Islaam (the Prophet) says: يا معشر الشباب “Hey, young people! من استطاع منكم الباءة, فليتزوج Whoever amongst you has the ability for الباءة (to bear the responsibilities & fulfill the obligations of marriage), should definitely get married. فإنه أغض للبصر وأحصن للفرج Because certainly, it will be more restraining for the eyes & more protecting of the private parts. ومن لم يستطع فعليه بالصوم فإنه له وجاء And whoever isn’t able (to fulfill the obligations of marriage) should fast a lot, because surely it will be a shield for him.” i.e. a shield against committing immoral actions
The condition for marriage set by Prophet Muhammad was ( استطاع – having the ability). And later he said that whoever لم يستطع – doesn’t have the ability.
What is meant by having the “ability”? The Scholars differed & there’re 2 opinions. Some of them said that it means the ability to afford the expenses of marriage and spending on one’s wife. * Others said that it means the ability to have intercourse. There is no conflict between the 2 meanings, so what it meant is that whoever is able to have intercourse and can afford it, let him get married.
So… let me just quote An-Nawawi. He (رحمه الله) said in Sharh Saheeh Muslim, 9/173.
وَاخْتَلَفَ الْعُلَمَاء فِي الْمُرَاد بِالْبَاءَةِ هُنَا عَلَى قَوْلَيْنِ يَرْجِعَانِ إِلَى مَعْنَى وَاحِد أَصَحّهمَا : أَنَّ الْمُرَاد مَعْنَاهَا اللُّغَوِيّ وَهُوَ الْجِمَاع , فَتَقْدِيره : مَنْ اِسْتَطَاعَ مِنْكُمْ الْجِمَاع لِقُدْرَتِهِ عَلَى مُؤَنه وَهِيَ مُؤَن النِّكَاح فَلْيَتَزَوَّجْ , وَمَنْ لَمْ يَسْتَطِعْ الْجِمَاع لِعَجْزِهِ عَنْ مُؤَنه فَعَلَيْهِ بِالصَّوْمِ لِيَدْفَع شَهْوَته , وَيَقْطَع شَرّ مَنِيّه , كَمَا يَقْطَعهُ الْوِجَاء
“The scholars differed concerning the meaning of “ability” here, and there are two views which boil down to the same meaning. The sounder of these two views is that what is meant is what the word (الباءة al-baa’ah) means in Arabic, which is the ability to have Intercourse. So the meaning is, whoever is able to have intercourse because he can afford the expenses of marriage, then let him get married. Whoever is unable to have intercourse because he cannot afford the expenses of marriage, then he has to fast in order to control his desire.”
ummm… Ibn Al-Qayyim also said in his book رَوضَةُ المُحِبِّيــن p. 219 (he said as follows):
وقوله “من استطاع منكم الباءة فليتزوج”: فسرت الباءة بالوطء ، وفسرت بمؤن النكاح ، ولا ينافي التفسير الأول إذ المعنى على هذا مؤن الباءة
“With regard to the phrase, “whoever among you is able to, should get married” – the word الباءة (al-baa’ah) was interpreted as meaning intercourse, and it was also interpreted as meaning the expenses of marriage. The second interpretation does not contradict the first meaning (because both of them are meant).”
+ So dear brother … that’s the only condition that Islam puts. Those 2 conditions. * As for … “wait to grow up in order to get married” – I don’t what’s meant by grow up. If they’re able to have relations & they’re able to take care of & provide for their wife, it’s done. :) 2 witnesses, 1 guardian, you, her. {And this is why we find that – unlike today – the early Muslims and the Sahaabah would marry at an early age, and not delay.}
ok, so if im still in high school, should i fast a lot to keep things out of my mind?
Yea – definitely. Fasting is a key, as the Prophet stated.
And also try to focus on other stuff for now… u know, as a Youth, 1 real important avenue is to get involved in learning Islamic knowledge from the various Islamic Institutions available here in the West. And ur parents/guardians should really help u out with this.
heard about http://www.almaghrib.org ?
yeah, ur right about that.
how would u suggest our parents helping out with our islamic education? maybe i could ask them to help me out more or something.
sometimes i feel that i don’t get the amount of motivation i need from my parents.
Well – the least they could do is allow you to register for good Islamic Seminars, or programs at your Masjid, or (for example) http://www.almaghrib.org and so on. * So I would say, the least that they are obligated to do (as it is part of their duty as “shepherds”), is to make sure you have the opportunity to attend – various Islamic seminars or programs, etc.
Buying you Islamic books (that are beneficial and useful) would also be something good they can do. * Another suggestion: Having “family nights”, for example, once a week or once a month, where everyone gets together and reads from a Book of Hadeeth, or a beneficial book on some islamic topic, or the Prophet’s Biography (or the bio. of the 4 Caliphs of Islaam). Family cooperation is really important. And you should tell them about this … maybe give’m some ideas ;)
@Muslimah When you become close friends with others, they take special notice of every nuance and unique thing about you. They see this not only when you are happy, but when you are sad or feel angry. The companions used to see this in the Prophet and would note when his face would turn red. Similarly, make sure your friends understand when you do not agree with what they are doing, but show it very clearly through your actions, like for example, getting into a deadly silence (the fact that you walk out is very admirable Masha’Allah).
Be very proud of who you are; realize that not all people will become Muslim, and that among all the Muslims, very few will be guided. Pray to Allah that you are foremost guided, and then that all of your friends be guided on the Straight Path. It’s very hard sometimes when you see dear friends keep on slipping, but you try your best and don’t give up. Never take any of this personally, as Allah told the Prophet that He is the one that guides. You try your best to live as a Muslim role model, and Insha’Allah, they will also follow.
@Just Strange You wanna get married now, but doesn’t seem like it’s possible cuz you’re in high school and all?
My suggestion: Ask your parents if you can at least get engaged at this age. I’m not giving you a Fatwa or anything, please keep that in mind, but at least being engaged will stop you from wasting a LOT of time just dwelling on this topic. If you’re engaged, then you don’t have to worry about girlfriends etc, and you know that Insha’Allah, you’ll be able to get married soon.
Just a word of advice from a brother to another: Please NEVER think that you can accomplish an Islamic act through unIslamic means, and in this situation, I mean taking on a girlfriend with the intention to marry her. Sounds stupid? That’s what most guys are doing now sadly. Please don’t fall for the ploys of Shaytaan, because it’s just one step after another. Shaykh AbdulBasit wrote an excellent post on this, https://www.muslimyouthmusings.com/the-greatest-worshipper-of-his-time/, so please take the time to read it.
As for asking your parents to help you acquire Islamic knowledge, I fully agree with what Shaykh AbdulBasit said. I would also say that take advantage of all the free resources online, and I would suggest that you being with reading Quran, then Tafsir sites such as Tafsir.com, and lectures on HalalTube.com (favorites are Shaykh Nouman Ali Khan and Shaykh Yasir Qadhi).
May Allah help us all to remain on the straight path and to be sincere students of knowledge. Ameen…
@Just Strange You wanna get married now, but doesn’t seem like it’s possible cuz you’re in high school and all?
My suggestion: Ask your parents if you can at least get engaged at this age. I’m not giving you a Fatwa or anything, please keep that in mind, but at least being engaged will stop you from wasting a LOT of time just dwelling on this topic. If you’re engaged, then you don’t have to worry about girlfriends etc, and you know that Insha’Allah, you’ll be able to get married soon.
Just a word of advice from a brother to another: Please NEVER think that you can accomplish an Islamic act through unIslamic means, and in this situation, I mean taking on a girlfriend with the intention to marry her. Sounds stupid? That’s what most guys are doing now sadly. Please don’t fall for the ploys of Shaytaan, because it’s just one step after another. Shaykh AbdulBasit wrote an excellent post on this, https://www.muslimyouthmusings.com/the-greatest-worshipper-of-his-time/, so please take the time to read it.
As for asking your parents to help you acquire Islamic knowledge, I fully agree with what Shaykh AbdulBasit said. I would also say that take advantage of all the free resources online, and I would suggest that you being with reading Quran, then Tafsir sites such as Tafsir.com, and lectures on HalalTube.com (favorites are Shaykh Nouman Ali Khan and Shaykh Yasir Qadhi).
May Allah help us all to remain on the straight path and to be sincere students of knowledge. Ameen…
I would add to this, what Allah said in the Qur’aan (43:67), الأخلآء يومئذ بعضهم لبعضٍ عدو إلا المتقيـــن “All friends (closest of friends) will become enemies to one another on that Day, except for the Muttaqeen [those who friendship was based on fear of Allah, love of Allah, consciousness of Allah].”
So all the friends – as Allah quoted Prophet Abraham in another place – مودة بينكم في الحيوة الدنيا, ثم يوم القيامة يكفر بعضكم ببعض ويلعن بعضكم بعضا Their love that the had for one another in this world will vanish & they will begin to reject one another and curse on another.
This is referring to, friendships that were based on something other than Allah. The friends never talked about Allah, being conscious of Him, doing what pleases Him, staying away from what displeases Him.
+ So keep this in mind… as well as the fact that, if we’re not gonna start doing this duty of ERFW in an “Islamic School”, where else and when else are we gonna start doing it? In a public school, in the society? No Way!! * We have to start from here and train ourselves.
Leave you with Luqman’s advise to his kid (quoted in 31:17), وأمر بالمعروف وانه عن المنكر, واصبر على ما أصابك “Tell people to do the good things (what pleases Allah), and tell them to stay away from the bad things (which are displeasing to Allah), and then BE VERY PATIENT over what befalls you.”
Ibn Katheer said: “Luqman knew that whoever enjoins what is good and forbids what is wrong, will inevitably encounter harm and annoyance from people, so he told his son to be patient.” * And that would be my advice to you.
@Muslimah When you become close friends with others, they take special notice of every nuance and unique thing about you. They see this not only when you are happy, but when you are sad or feel angry. The companions used to see this in the Prophet and would note when his face would turn red. Similarly, make sure your friends understand when you do not agree with what they are doing, but show it very clearly through your actions, like for example, getting into a deadly silence (the fact that you walk out is very admirable Masha’Allah).
Be very proud of who you are; realize that not all people will become Muslim, and that among all the Muslims, very few will be guided. Pray to Allah that you are foremost guided, and then that all of your friends be guided on the Straight Path. It’s very hard sometimes when you see dear friends keep on slipping, but you try your best and don’t give up. Never take any of this personally, as Allah told the Prophet that He is the one that guides. You try your best to live as a Muslim role model, and Insha’Allah, they will also follow.
i got a hard question for you, im a girl and i used to b a good muslim i used to pray 5 times a day and used to read the quran, never used to tlk about any1 just used to mind my own business and get on with my life but when i grew older i got abused by my brother, i couldnt take it anymre, i didnt do anything wrong i didnt deserve any of tht so i slowly lost faith in islam, i started drinkin, smokin, doing drugs done other things which are prohibited in islam. Now i have an amazing job, a huge apartment in london, dubai and hollywood, a loving boyfriend, you could say i live a rich fabulous life. i have everything i ever wanted, things most people dont have. When i was 16 i got abused lived a hard life, and noone was ther for me i prayed to allah all the pain stop but nothing stopped, now im 21 i have everythin and im so happy with my boyfriend who loves me and who is always here for me, so what does it make me a bad muslim?
I’m very sorry to hear about the abuse that was incurred against you – May Allah guide your brother and make him a better person.
Now, getting to your comment about living nicely now, judging from your comment, I wouldn’t exactly say you are living the high life.
– You have a boyfriend, not a husband.
– You have three apartments, which doesn’t exactly signify contentment.
– You’ve taken drugs, alcohol, and tobacco, which are all scientifically proven to be extremely dangerous.
Now, even taking that aside, look at your situation once more – the fact that you now think that you live a good life means that a lot of your pain has eased away, which means that your prayer was answered to some level. If you read our “The Power of Dua” article (https://www.muslimyouthmusings.com/the-power-of-dua/), you’ll see that Duas are not always immediately granted – Allah grants them when He deems best. An example of this is that Ibrahim (alayhis salaam)’s dua was granted several generations after him, and it turned out to be the best thing that ever happened. Allah tells us to never lose hope in Him and to never despair. Take a harder look at your life – now that you are away from the abuse, wouldn’t it be a good idea to try coming back to your Lord and making sure that the same abuse doesn’t happen to other women?
How does one really define “better life”? Either path –> the path of worldly pleasures or the path of Islam — will have struggles. Struggles are an inevitable part of life . No one can convince me that people who don’t strive on Allahs pa…th are living the best life. Deep down inside something is missing–> something you can get only from working to become a better Muslim. I would respond by asking this person , what do you want out of life? If you want peace of mind in this life and bliss in the next life, then work towards Allah ( even if it’s only in small steps– the Sahaba of the prophets memorized ten ayats of the Quran at a time and slowly applied it in their lives). Take it slow. If you walk to Allah, he will come running to you, and I can guarantee you that your definition of a “better life” will change inshaAllah. May Allah guide this person, and may Allah guide us all. Ameen.
I understand your comment from experience. A few years ago, I had what you would call a “down” moment in my life. I prayed to Allah constantly, begging for a help, a sign – anything that would ease my pain. Nothing came. Soon, I found myself drawing away from Islam. I would put my head down in sujood everyday, but my heart was not in it. And yet, I was more successful than I’d ever been.
From this experience, I’ve learned that praying to Allah is not an “accept” or “reject” call. There’s much more to it. There are people who pray to Allah… and yet they seem to have nothing and their lives are riddled with trouble after trouble! On the other hand, there are others who have everything and do not pray to Allah at all! And often times, Allah “tests” us with hardships and obstacles to see if we will remain close to Him. Likewise, He also “tests” us with good things to see if we will return to Him – the One who provides all good. And even though we might have good things in this life despite not being close to our religion does not mean that those same things will be there in the next life. All we’ve gotta do is stay close to Allah in good times and bad. Sometimes your “call” won’t get picked up… but who knows, in the next life it might! That’s when it matters. You might forget to hit redial… when maybe if you had along the way, you might have gotten an answer. And sometimes, you might not be calling at all and still receiving all the benefits…. just don’t disconnect from Allah!
This is what I thought of when I faced this difficulty. Ask yourself, were you really a good Muslim before that turning point in your life? Did you feel remorse that you were faced with such a hard thing… despite doing so much for your religion? Why did you have that feeling? And now, with a “successful” life, do you really feel satisfied? Do you wonder why you’ve been given so much despite being a “bad muslim”? Maybe your success is a reminder that Allah gives to test us and takes away to test us to? Isn’t it time to get back on track?
Assalamu alaikum,
Allah (SWT) said in the Qur’an: “Do men think that they will be left alone on saying, “We believe”, and that they will not be tested? We did test those before them, and Allah will certainly know those who are true from those who are false.” (29:2-3) Every Muslim’s faith must be tested and it seems to me like you were doing pretty well in your test and I think you were actually well-off before (if you look at it spiritually). You were abused, but you were close to Allah and you were patient. You had hardships, but you were strong. Also when you say that “i have everythin and im so happy…”, i’m confused ’cause is that what you really consider happiness or are you trying to convince yourself that you’re happy? In Sheikh Yasir Qadhi’s lecture, he mentions the different things that people do to achieve happiness http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MDoWLhlK2o
And are you sure that by doing all the haram things (drugs, alcohol, boyfriend) you are really happy because no material possessions can bring about happiness as obedience and servitude to Allah (swt) can bring. What guarantees that your boyfriend is not with you only because you’re rich? I recommend you watch this video called “The Goodly Life” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fugf1DcNyc
Also, I don’t really understand your question-are you asking us if your a bad Muslim? Well, if I have understood the question correctly, then I have no right to judge you but I wld say you are definitely far from Islam. As brother Arif has said, though, your du’a has been answered to some extent so you shld feel lucky that Allah (SWT) did not let you go. He cared for you and so you shld turn back to Him in repentance because He is the Most Merciful.
“do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind” – Paul the Apostle of Christ Jesus
Beautiful! Inspiring! JazakhaAllah khair!