The Autobiography

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I don’t want to get caught up in details, but details make me, me
It’s an interesting thing when you see a dead man be
Walked on a hollow path in an empty road until the end, I could see
No stone left unturned and this we’ll discuss over a cup of tea

Now I was a young man, prematurely aging
Whispers from the depths of my soul persistently raging
Who are we, and what is me, am I alone or right at home?
In retrospect, I realize how much I did neglect,
Words so potent and prevailing,
Often cast away from where they were once hailing

You see, I saw the fire on the mountain
And I’ve seen the sea split.
I’ve seen the moon divide in two, but this I say to you
What I once knew, I did forget
Leading to inevitable regret

Of past experiences I do narrate,
Desires to know, quite innate.
But when ignored they do frustrate;
Becoming thereafter conjecture you speculate
So I say, know now, search now, and be now
A dead man is only dead when he doesn’t know
Once yearning is fulfilled, results it will show

I looked at my life and saw some despair,
I looked a little harder to see who might care.
To whom could I go when there is no one there?
Just a lonely kid with no hope to spare.
But I tell you now, a physical death does no man wrong.
It’s the massacre of the soul that hurts so long.

This news I hope you can bare
The feelings I had were simply too rare
A glimmer of hope shaded by doubt
There the whole time, and I found out
At the end of the earth, I stood to declare
I found a light that I must share.

This poem was written as a reflection of my experience struggling to find the truth and overcoming personal conflicts and doubts in coming of faith. The poem is about being reminded but struggling to find the discipline to commit. Additionally, the message is about clarifying confusion and experiencing the fulfillment and peace that comes with knowing Islam.

Muhammad Xhemali is a pharmacy student at the MCPHS University in Worcester. He was born in Albania and came to the States at the age of 5 with his family and has been living in Massachusetts ever since. He graduated the Bayyinah Dream program in 2012 and continues to pursue his studies.

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